Seventh Graders Are Losers

     When I was in seventh grade, there was a kid that teased me relentlessly. His name was Matt. Anything I did, anything I said, or any attempt to be "cool," just wasn't good enough for this kid. To be fair, he was an overweight kid who also had a hard time being accepted by the popular kids, but he could always get a laugh out of them at my expense. Remember Matt, because he will be appearing in the story a little bit later.

     I was a bit of a loner.  By that, I mean I was a fucking loser that had no idea how to make friends.  This isn't an attempt to make anyone feel sorry for me, it's just a scientific fact: All seventh graders are losers. (Don't worry current seventh graders, you'll eventually grow out of it... Godspeed.)  Being alone all of the time, you figure out new and creative ways to keep yourself entertained.  Now, my parents were by no means poor, but they couldn't afford to buy me every toy I may have wanted.  (As an adult, I'm thankful for not having been spoiled)  So, I had to make due with the dollar store "G.I. Joes."  This was not going to stop me from having superhero figures though, because I had an imagination and access to glue, popsicle sticks, string, tape, and aluminum foil.  I remember making my "Joes" into an elite force of mutants that were loosely based on the same heroes my peers had in their action figure assortments (Spider-man, silver surfer, etc.).  I had so much fun making these characters and giving them backstories that set them apart from their flashier doppelgängers.  

     It was one day in History class, I was drawing pictures of all of my newly fashioned heroes.  While working on this masterpiece, Matt snatched the drawing off of my desk and began to parade it around to everyone so they could see how big of a nerd I was.  Seriously, this kid would not stop.  Even when the other kids lost interest, he would just throw fuel on the fire and remind them how dorky I was with my ridiculous 'rip-off' heroes.   I remember being humiliated.

     Fast forward to March 2015.  I have started taking broken action figures and creating new characters that are far removed from the origins of their individual parts.  Then I make a mold and make multiple casts of each character that each have their own flaws and imperfections that make them special in their own way.  They may not be cool, but I'll be damned if I'm not having fun doing it.  Who's laughing now Matt?  Who's laughing now?!  (Truthfully... probably still you.) 

-Brandon Reichard

Fart Museum, HMFIC

(Photos courtesy of Mike Curtis)

Here we go again...

So, rather than try to host a blog where I am committing myself to writing something all the time, I've decided to plant this here as a seed that will hopefully grow into a tree.  Then that tree will drop seeds that will grow into more trees.  So on and so forth, until a big major corporation decides to clear out what has become a beautiful forest of trees in order to build a community.  I want this to be that community... Or something like that.

What I'm getting at is that The Fart Museum is an idea.  An idea I'm hoping many will take part in helping grow.  I want stories from collectors, fans and artists who just take the time out of their day to talk about their passion.  I've tried on numerous occasions to start things that catered to a specific topic (or at least roughly), but it occurs to me that I'm not interested in a single topic, so why the heck wouldn't I create something that I would want to read.  I'm a dude that's into a number of different things with a good deal of friends that are also into different things.  So, let's all talk about these different things and create a different thing.  What's a horse shoe?  Are there any horse socks?  Is anyone even listening to me?